Right, I can’t keep quiet any longer – I’ve had it up to here with the absolute wrong’uns flooding LinkedIn, Twitter, and every other bloody platform claiming they’re “Generative Engine Optimisation experts”, or “Experts in AI Overviews”, not forgetting of course “UK AI Mode Specialist” (it’s not even launched in the UK yet…).
Time for some brutal honesty that might save you from getting royally shafted.
GEO is the latest SEO money grab
These people are like those huns on Instagram selling quantum healing crystals – they’ve grabbed onto sciencey-sounding terminology and are flogging something that doesn’t actually exist yet. Except instead of promising to align your chakras, they’re promising to “revolutionise your search visibility” through their “proprietary GEO techniques.”
Here’s the thing that’s got me absolutely fuming – nobody is a Generative Engine Optimisation expert yet.
Nobody.
Not me, not the person with the fancy LinkedIn course, not the agency charging £15,000 a month for their “cutting-edge GEO strategy.” We’re all figuring this out as we go along.
The red flags that should make you run for the hills
When these snake oil merchants come a-knocking, here’s what they’ll tell you:
“I’ve cracked the code for AI search optimisation”
Bollocks. Complete and utter bollocks. The major AI platforms are updating their algorithms constantly, sometimes daily. Anyone claiming they’ve “cracked the code” is either delusional or lying through their teeth.
“Our proprietary GEO framework guarantees results”
There is no framework. There are no guarantees. There’s barely even consensus on what works consistently across different AI platforms. These people are charging you to use your website as their testing ground.
“I’ve been doing GEO since before it was cool”
Since when? Last Tuesday? AI search has been publicly accessible for what, two years? And it’s changing faster than my menopausal mood. Anyone claiming years of experience is taking the piss.
“We have exclusive partnerships with AI platforms”
No, they bloody don’t. ChatGPT, Claude, and Perplexity aren’t handing out special SEO partnerships to random marketing agencies. Stop making shit up to justify your inflated fees.
“Traditional SEO is dead – you need GEO now”
This one particularly winds me up. Traditional search isn’t going anywhere. Google still processes billions of searches daily. These fear-mongering tactics are designed to panic you into paying for services that don’t exist yet.
What these fraudsters are actually doing
Here’s what’s really happening when you pay one of these “experts”:
They’re using your website and your money to conduct experiments they should be doing at their own expense. They’ll make changes to your content, track what happens, and then sell those insights to the next mug who falls for their pitch.
They’re essentially running a paid research programme where you’re both the test subject and the funding source. It’s like paying a mechanic to learn how to fix cars using your motor.
What legitimate people are doing
Real professionals who are genuinely trying to understand this space are:
Testing obsessively on their own properties first
They’re not using client websites as guinea pigs. They’re experimenting with their own content, documenting what works, and only implementing strategies after they’ve seen consistent results.
Reading everything they can get their hands on
They’re following AI platform updates, reading research papers, monitoring forums, and staying glued to official announcements. They’re not pretending they have all the answers.
Being honest about what they don’t know
They’ll tell you upfront that this is experimental territory. They’ll explain their hypotheses, show you their testing methodology, and be transparent about the risks.
Focusing on fundamentals that work across platforms
They’re doubling down on quality content, clear structure, and genuine expertise rather than chasing phantom “optimisation tricks.”
Charging appropriately for experimental work
They’re not commanding premium rates for unproven strategies. They’re pricing their services based on the experimental nature of the work.
The questions that make fake experts squirm
Want to separate the genuine researchers from the chancers? Ask these questions and watch them scramble:
“Can you show me your own website’s performance in AI search results?”
If they can’t demonstrate success on their own properties, why would you trust them with yours?
“What specific testing have you done, and can I see the data?”
Real testing produces real data. Vague claims about “extensive research” without evidence should set off alarm bells.
“Which AI platforms are you optimising for, and how do their algorithms differ?”
If they can’t explain the differences between how ChatGPT, Claude, and Perplexity surface information, they don’t know what they’re talking about.
“What happens if your strategies don’t work?”
Legitimate professionals will have contingency plans and won’t charge you for failed experiments.
“How do you stay updated with platform changes?”
The landscape changes weekly. Anyone serious about this space should be able to tell you exactly how they monitor updates and adapt their strategies.
What we know about AI search optimisation
Here’s what we actually know right now:
Good content works everywhere
Well-structured, genuinely helpful content performs well in traditional search and shows up in AI results. This isn’t revolutionary or new, it’s common sense.
Clear information architecture matters
Content that’s easy for humans to understand is easier for AI to parse and reference.
Authority and expertise count
AI platforms seem to favour content from established, credible sources.
User intent is still king
Whether someone’s asking ChatGPT or Google, they want their questions answered properly.
That’s about it. Everything else is speculation, testing, and hypothesis at this point.
What you should do
Instead of falling for these get-rich-quick schemes masquerading as expertise:
Work with someone who’s honest about the experimental nature of this work
Find professionals who admit they’re learning as they go and price their services accordingly.
Focus on fundamentals that work across all platforms
Invest in quality content, clear site structure, and genuine expertise. These strategies work regardless of how search evolves.
Demand transparency and testing methodology
Anyone worth their salt should be able to explain their hypotheses, testing methods, and what they’re measuring.
Don’t pay premium rates for experimental strategies
If someone’s testing theories on your website, they shouldn’t be charging you as if they’re implementing proven strategies.
Ask for regular, detailed reporting
You should know exactly what’s being tested, what the results are, and how strategies are being adapted based on findings.
Stop falling for the latest marketing scam
These self-proclaimed GEO experts are taking advantage of business owners who are worried about being left behind in the AI “revolution”. They’re selling certainty in an uncertain market, expertise that doesn’t exist yet, and solutions to problems that might not even be real.
The genuine professionals in this space are the ones saying “I don’t know, but I’m working hard to figure it out.” They’re transparent about their testing, honest about their limitations, and focused on building real knowledge rather than selling snake oil.
Don’t let fear of missing out push you into the arms of these charlatans. AI search is changing daily, and anyone claiming they’ve got it all figured out is either deluded or deliberately misleading you.
Save your money, focus on creating brilliant content that helps your users, and work with people who are honest about what they know and what they’re still learning. Your future self will thank you for not falling for the latest marketing scam dressed up as cutting-edge expertise.
And if anyone tries to sell you a “revolutionary GEO strategy” in the next six months, tell them where they can stick their quantum healing crystals
No CTA, you know where to find me if you want to talk about this stuff. Be warned, it may get ranty!
