We’re our own worst enemies in SEO. Every time we find something that actually works, we spam it into oblivion until Google has no choice but to shut it down. It’s like finding a secret path to the sweet shop, then telling everyone until the owner builds a massive fence. We fuck it up for ourselves.

The Early Days of Abuse

Remember stuffing white text on white backgrounds? Some bright spark discovered search engines couldn’t see colour, and within months, every website looked like a snow globe if you hit CTRL+A. And it worked! Until it didn’t.

Or how about cramming keywords into meta tags like we were playing some demented game of Word Tetris? “SEO SEO SEO SEO SEO” – because obviously, that’s how real humans write things.

Or when every business website thought stuffing their meta keywords with celebrity names was genius marketing? “Architect in Bromley, house extensions, Britney Spears naked, Beyoncé leaked photos, kitchen renovations.”

Because obviously, someone searching for celebrity gossip was definitely in the market for a loft conversion in South London.

The Great Guest Post Massacre

Guest posting was brilliant once. Genuine experts sharing knowledge on relevant sites – beautiful. Then we turned it into a mass-production content factory. “Dear Sir/Madam, I would like to write unique article for your website about discount sunglasses” – times a million.

We didn’t just kill guest posting – we lined it up against a wall and executed it with a firing squad of spam emails.

Comment Spam – When “Great Post!” Became a Warning Sign

Back in the day, blog comments were actual conversations. Then some genius realised you could get backlinks from comments, and suddenly every blog post had 500 variations of “Great post! Check out my website about cheap Viagra!”

We turned meaningful discussion spaces into digital graffiti walls.

The Endless Landing Page Epidemic

“Plumber in Manchester” “Manchester Plumber” “Plumbing Services Manchester” “Emergency Plumber Manchester”

Same content, different word order, infinite pages. Because apparently, we thought Google wouldn’t notice we were just playing SEO Mad Libs.

Forum Spam – How to Destroy Communities in Three Easy Steps

Forums were goldmines of genuine discussion and community building. Until we discovered profile links. Suddenly, every forum had more spam accounts than a Monty Python sketch has mentions of Spam.

The Current Mess We’re Making

Want to know what we’re actively ruining right now?

AI Content – The New White Text on White Background

“Just generate unique content for every keyword variation!” they cry, while pumping out 500 almost-identical articles that read like they were written by a robot having a breakdown.

Featured Snippet Manipulation

Found a way to get featured snippets? Quick, tell everyone! Create endless how-to sections, abuse header tags, and generally keep at it until Google changes the rules again.

Topic Clustering Gone Mad

“Just create clusters about everything!” they say, building content hubs about topics they know nothing about, filled with AI-generated waffle that helps absolutely nobody.

Why Do We Do This?

It’s not just about chasing quick wins (though that’s part of it). We’re so busy trying to game the system that we forget what SEO is actually for – helping users find what they need.

The Pattern Never Changes

Someone finds something that works
They tell everyone at the next SEO conference or announce it on Social Media for the dopamine hits
Everyone does it
Everyone does it badly
Google updates their algorithm
We all act surprised
Repeat

What We’re About to Ruin Next

Want to know what’s going to get nerfed next because we can’t help ourselves?

Schema markup abuse (because apparently everything needs schema now)
AI detection score manipulation (because we’re trying to make AI content look human)
Content reformatting just for featured snippets (headers everywhere!)

The Real Kicker

The most frustrating part? Most of these tactics worked brilliantly when used properly and in moderation. Guest posting is still valuable when done right. Comments can still build genuine relationships. Even AI content has its place.

But no. We had to push it. Because if something’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing until Google has to step in like a tired parent saying “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

So the next time you find something that works in SEO, maybe keep it to yourself. Or at least use it responsibly. Otherwise, we’ll be back here in six months wondering why Google “suddenly” changed their algorithm again.

But who am I kidding? Someone’s probably already writing an eBook about “The ULTIMATE AI Snippet Schema Markup Hack That Google Doesn’t Want You To Know About!”

Sigh